Raising boys throughout the teen years is definitely not easy.
Talking to them about all of the changes they will be going through during those teenage years is not always easy either.
Luckily Great Waters Press has written a book directly to boys in the 10 to 20 age range, that really helps us as parents, and our boys, to navigate through these sometimes awkward times.
Love, Honor and Virtue: Gaining or Regaining a Biblical Attitude Toward Sexuality is such a blessing.
I don't know about you, but it is not always easy to talk to your kids about sex, the changes they are going through and how to handle them.
When I got this book, I decided to read through it myself first, then give it to my 13 year old son to read.
I should have taken pictures before I started reading this book, but I didn't. And maybe like me, you only have time to read in the bath tub, so you will understand! That's why my finger is in the picture, holding the cover down!
The night I got this book, I took it to the tub and started reading!
Love, Honor, And Virtue is written directly to teen boys, but it really helped me to see what all I needed to be talking to my son about!
This book covers so many things. It talks about HOW the human body works, as far as puberty goes. It talks about how we are born either male or female, and that NOTHING can change that. That even if someone thinks they are the opposite sex trapped in the wrong gender body, that it is simply not true. That even if they changed everything that they can about their bodies, their DNA, cells, genes, etc are always going to be either male or female.
I think it is unfortunate that we even have to write about topics such as these, but in this world, it is necessary.
It is very detailed about exactly what changes our boys are going through as they go through puberty. It even talks about what girls go through when they go through puberty, and what it means to have a period.
It also talks about the real reason we go through all of these changes. To have babies! And it tells the process of conception, birth, breastfeeding, etc..
This book does cover, and quite detailed, how sex happens. I have to admit that I was even uncomfortable reading this section. It is very detailed. However, I also know that my son knows the general way that sex happens, so it isn't a huge shock. Some of the details are a little shocking though to those who have not actually had sex yet, and we are talking to our young boys, so they have not.
Here is an example from the section I am talking about.
"Foreplay causes sexual excitement in both husband and wife. The wife breathes harder, her heart rate increases, her vulva, the area around her vaginal and urethral (where urine comes out) openings swells and her vagina secretes a lubricant."
It continues to talk through the whole process including the male ejaculating into the woman's vagina, and how this whole process is "becoming one flesh", and why this is so special and should only be shared between husband and wife.
I wanted you to know about this part of the book before just handing it off to your child. I am NOT saying it is inappropriate. Unfortunately it is very appropriate in this day and age. As much as I didn't want my son reading this, I also want him to know the TRUTH. I want him to know what sex really is. I do NOT want him learning about sex from his friends, who have no idea what they are talking about or who glorify it in a way that it shouldn't be. Maybe knowing the truth will keep it from being so much of a temptation or thinking about it as the world likes to think about it. I am hoping it puts it in perspective for my son.
That brings me to another topic this book covers. Porn....Again, a topic I would really rather not have to talk about with my son. But unfortunately it is only a Google search away, or a text away.
This book taught my son about porn and sexting. It is obviously encouraging our young men to stay away from porn. It also talks about how degrading it is to real women out there and how all of that is not real life and that it is not fair to their future wife to expect anything from them that they may see in porn images or videos.
One thing I really liked that it did talk about was how having nude or inappropriate images on their phone is child pornography. Even if, say a young girl sent a picture of herself willingly to my son, HE could still be charged with having child pornography on his phone and be in a lot of real trouble.
I am hoping that this deters him from ever going down this path.
That is one thing I really do like about this book. It doesn't just talk about things in a general way, it really gets to the heart of the matter, and what some of the consequences to our actions can be.
It does help our young men to understand masturbation, and why it is not a good idea. It gives practical tips on how to stay pure, even though it is hard, and it doesn't make them feel bad if they are having a hard time. It is normal. But it really helps them to see the big picture of what sex really is, what it was intended for, how to stay pure while waiting for their wife, and how to handle relationships until they are old enough for marriage.
I really can't say enough about this book. There are a few areas that I was uncomfortable reading because they were so detailed, but everything in this book is so important to share with our young men.
It has sparked a lot of conversation in our home that may not have been brought up or my son may have been too embarrassed to bring up on his own.
My son's opinion of the book is that it is helpful for kids to learn about all of the changes they may be facing, but that he feels it is basically too detailed. Some of it made him feel uncomfortable, like he shouldn't be knowing this stuff yet.
I wish he didn't have to either, but I know his friends at school, and however unfortunate, even at church, will be talking about sex. At least this way, I know that he knows the truth.
As much as this book was helpful to myself and my son, there is another book that I was also lucky enough to receive that REALLY helped me, as the parent, understand exactly what my child was going through and HOW to actually handle it!
This book has helped me so much in understanding just what our kids are going through, and to be more understanding during these times.
I am wrote a separate review for this book
here. Please be sure to read it. I really, really want you, as a parent to have this book in your arsenal.
And look how cool! They signed both of my books!
"Hal & Melanie Young are the award-winning authors of Raising Real Men and My Beloved and My Friend: How to Be Married to Your Best Friend Without Changing Spouses. They are publishers, writers, bloggers, and popular conference speakers internationally, known for their Christ-centered focus and practical, real-life stories. They are the parents of six real boys (four grown!) and two real girls and live in noisy, messy happiness in North Carolina."
In 2011 I read one of their other books
Raising Real Men. I enjoyed this book just as much as I have these other two. You can read my full review on Raising Real Men
here.
Be sure to check out my fellow Crew Mate's Reviews too!
