Monday, October 27, 2008

Do you let others influnce your decisions?

Do you ever go against how you really feel because of how others make you feel about it?
Do you let the views of all your friends influence the decisions that you make for your own children?
I know that it is very hard to stand up in this world and take a stand for what is right.
It is really hard to say that your kids can't watch a certain t.v. show when you are at someone elses house and they want to watch something that you feel is inappropriate or to say sorry, no they may not play video games with your children or No, we do not do sleepovers.
You will probably be met with the enevitable, 'why not?"
Then you have to explain your position, meanwhile trying to make sure that what you say does not make the other person feel like you are judging them.
It really stinks to have to always be defending your choices but it is worth it.
You are the only one who knows your child and what is best.
I have had to make a LOT of hard decisions in my life, (and I am only 28) I feel like I am constantly having to defend my decisions or explain why I feel the way I do, and unfortunately this has ended up in the loss of friends and family sometimes.
It is so hard when others will not understand where you are coming from and that you have to protect your children.
In trying to protect my children, I have lost a lot, but nothing is more important than protecting your kids. You have to be very careful in what you allow in your childs life and who they make friends with.
Many times you make friends and then start hanging out and then find out you don't have much in common or you really don't want your kids influencd in a certain way that they be if they hang around that person.
It is better to take it slow in our friendships and get to know one another than have to end a friendship or live our lives trying to make excuses to not see them. This is not only stressful for you but it is unfair and dishonest.
Sometimes it is your own family that you are having problems with. You can't control how others raise their families and you can only teach your children what your family believes is right and wrong.
If it is a serious problem, you may have to remove your family from the situation. It is hard and no one really wants to stir things up in their family and if you have to, do try to be as loving as possible and not make it worse.
But do know that you have the resposibility to raise your children up for God, no one else.

2 comments:

Lori Lynn said...

Oh this is what I'm going through right now with my family. My mom and sister are trying to convince me to send our boys away to a summer camp. "They spend too much time with me." I am not supported in homeschooling. Lately I am not supported in many choices we've made in our life, parenting, and family! And they are all Christians! It was nice to read this and see that I am not alone.

rodnamomof2 said...

Hi Lori. I know this is tough to go through.
Especially when they are supposed to be christians. The thing is that God gave these specific children to YOU and YOUR HUSBAND and NOT anyone else. Only you guys know what is truly best. If your family is at all understanding you may be able to nicely tell them that you have to do what you feel is best and what God is leading your family to do. Say, i am not trying to upset you but I have to answer to God and no one else. You may be able to ask them to please respect your decisions.
Unfortunately, may family is not like that and they seem to think I am choosing some backwards way over them and they don't want to talk to me anymore.
It is really sad but I do have peace with my decisions. They do not like the fact that in most things I will submit to my husands authority and get very angry and say, Well, if I am choosing to listen to him over them then fine.
I just don't understand why people can't be more understanding of eachother.
Just pray for them to see that what you are doing is the right thing and that you are following God and not man.
It is hard, I know though.
But you really do have to do the right thing and can't worry about what others think. Try your hardest not to let it ruin your relationships but if THEY choose to go, there is nothing you can do about it unles you give in to their ways, just pray for them,
just don't give in. God will work everything out fot the good.
The most important thing is to protect your kids!
You are NOT being overprotective.
That is just their opinion, not fact. You can't spend to much time with your kids, they are YOUR kids. If you really don't want to send them to summer camp, DO NOT DO IT!
I would absolutely not do it. You don't know what can happen there and I am sure you have heard of things that have happened before.
Just pray about it strongly and let God lead you and your decisions and follow God and no one else.
I hope you get some peace with your decisions and that others will learn to understand.
Love, Rodna

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