*Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.*

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Why is it so hard to stand up for your convictions?

I routinely seem to be in a position that I have trouble standing up for what I believe in. Does anyone else feel the same way?
Why does it seem so hard? I feel like Paul when he says he knows what he should do but yet doesn't do it, instead he seems to keep doing what he knows he shouldn't do.
You know when you are visiting someone else and their kids are playing a video game you do not approve of and your kids want to play or when their kids are watching a television show that you do not approve of but for some reason you can't get up the nerve to ask them to change the channel?
I think it is because you feel like you would be telling them they are doing something wrong and you don't want to hurt their feelings. Or you do not want to feel stupid, or have someone tell you AGAIN that you are just way too overprotective, or get into an argument about why you feel that way, or you may be intimidated by that person.
Ok, so I know a lot of us deal with this, SO how do we handle these situations from now on?
My husband get very angry with me when I don't stand up for our convictions or our beliefs or if I let the kids do something I normally would not.
I don't blame him because these are his kids and he is entrusting me to take good care of them and keep our convictions intact. Trust me I get just as mad at myself as he does.

I find that I am often over looking things or letting things go so that I don't have to say anything. I wonder how that effects my daughter. It can't be good for her to see her mom waver on our beliefs.
I don't want to raise her to be that way. I want for her to stand strong and stand up for her beliefs and I can't even seem to do it.
How can I tell her to do someting that I can't even do.
If an adult can't even do it then why do parents think that their kid can withstand all of the peer pressure?
I have had to end friendships before and I hate doing it and I really struggle with knowing whether it is right to do that because then how does that look, as a christian, to say, you don't believe the way I do, so I can't be your friend anymore. I have had that happen to me before from a Church of Christ lady because I didn't believe the way she did as far as baptism being what saves you, and after lot's of bible study's and me not conforming to her beliefs, she said we could no longer be friends.
How can we be an influence on any of these people if we do that?
Where do we draw the line?
Some of or friendships do not make as big of an impact on our children as others do. We may have friends that believe some things differently than we do but we can explain to our kids that we can pray for them and be a positive influence.
But there are others that destroy our kids.
I think when it comes to the point that your kids are questioning your beliefs because of them, it is time to do something, as hard as it may be.
When your kids say to you, why would they watch that, or wear that, or say that, if it wasn't ok? When they say, so and so are christians too and they think it is ok, you can tell that those people are having a negative influence on your child.
Are you going to put your friendships above the well being of your children?
Trust me, I know this is hard. I have been there, and am there, and will probably be there again.
So, you now are seeing the influences and know that they need to stop, but what if it is your best friend?
This is a tough question and all I can really say right now is that you need to make sure that your priorities are your children and that you put their well being first.
What ever that may be to you, whether it is limiting the visits, only talking to the mom on the phone, having supervised visits, or discontinuing them alltogether.
Each relationship will be different and will require different things. It may not require any of those. I may be that you need to learn how to be stronger and say what you know you need to. This may be all it takes.
Ask your husband what he feels is best and take his advice. He only has your family's best interest in heart. Trust him. He loves you and your children and will not tell you something that is not good for you, even if you don't agree. Remember that God has placed him as your covering and the head of your family and God is trustworthy.
I know this is such a tender topic but I hope that I have at least gotten you to rethink your priorities and what those influences really mean on your family.
Keep your family intact and don't let anyone or anything destroy your convictions or your family.

2 comments:

mommy4 said...

OK seriously, you scare me sometimes about your posts. I was just talking to my hairdresser today about this same issue!! Are you my conscience? Anywhooo. My nephew has a "girlfriend" who while on their breakup slept with a boy and got pregnant and came back to the nephew. She now has a baby which is known by the entire family as "not my nephews", WEIRD! And they're only 16!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!! I wanted to head for the hills and tell my hubby, geez dude your family is NUTS!! However, it is not the people involved that I have an issue with its the sin itself. Jesus wants us to love them, its his loving kindness that will bring these crazy teens to their knees. It has caused lots of discussion at our house. With four kiddos that I'm trying to teach it is hard. I wanted to never be in the same room as these two I mean three but what would that teach my kids? Just because they made a mistake they are not "allowed" into the kingdom? My kids know in their soul that sin is sin and will not be good no matter how good it seems to be on the outside. My goal is to raise these children up to be able to go INTO the world and lead them to Christ. NOT to judge or hide their their faith. So I have decided that next time we see them rather than ignoring them and turning my nose up I will love them not their sin. Does that make sense? It took me a long time to get to that but one day my children will be gone and in the world, not of it, but in it and they have to be able to deal with this kind of stuff and unfortunatly this is just the tip of what they will see in their lifetime. Don't get me wrong we will still keep them at a distance as we do with others that we think are not a godly example for our kiddos. Geez being a parent is so hard! Untimatly I just want to hear "Well done" not "what happened, I gave you that opportunity". I'm glad your blogging again, and thanks for this post my head is racing thinking of this.

rodnamomof2 said...

Thanks, i am trying to blog more. I have a LOT to say. I just don'thave a lot of time to say it. LOL
I was just sort of rambling last night. I am just going through something hard and do not know really what to do. In my particular situation, these are christians and that makes it SO much harder. I am not trying to judge either, it is just that it is making my kids question our judgement. I really don't know what I am going to do because I do not want to do anything rashly. I am just trying to figure it all out. I think it will stat with me standing up more for our beliefs and not being intimidated.
I do have a lot of things to blog about. I have tons of stuff running around in my head. LOL
Hopefully, I will get to it soon.
Rodna

Quotes

"The democracy will cease to exist
when you take away from those who are willing to work
and give to those who would not." --Thomas Jefferson
Martin Luther: b. 1483-1546: "I am very much afraid that schools will prove to be the great gates of hell unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures, engraving them in the hearts of youth. I advise no one to place his child where the Scriptures do not reign paramount. Every institution in which men are not increasingly occupied with the Word of God must become corrupt."

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