Saturday, March 23, 2013

Parenting Help???? In need of....

I need some help. Ever since the divorce, my kids constanly argure with me, and with eachother. Now, they argued before, but it just seems to be their favorite thing to do now.

My eight year old son thinks my daughter doesn't love or like him because she doesn't want to play with him, and she is not patient and treats him like a little pest.

My 15 year old daughter thinks that her brother is the most annoying thing in the world.

Problem is my son does things on purpose to annoy his sister, but he does it because he feels like she doesn't like him. My daughter doesn't like to be around her brother because of what he does. Neither of them realize that if the other would just change a little, the other would respond.

If my daughter were to be more patient and loving, my son wouldn't want to annoy her so much. GRRR.

It is all day long. I can't take it anymore. I need practical advice on how to keep my son from annoying my daughter on purpose, and how to get my daughter to be more loving, kind and patient.



Noteable Scraps said...

I don't know that I can help you much, as I'm not divorced and my children fight constantly, too! I decided to comment just to let you know you are not alone. Six-to-ten year old boys are one of the most annoying things on the planet. It is a fact of life. (Have you ever seen "Sleepless in Seattle"? The kid is being rude to his dad's date, and the dad says, "He's 8." She says, "He's good at it!") Your daughter, being a girl and also the first child, probably did not go through that and doesn't understand his need to annoy for attention. But that is a phase they all go through, and I do not doubt that the nature that was already there was aggravated by a divorce. My 7yo son constantly does things on purpose to annoy his older siblings. My mother always said sibling fights toughened us up and prepared us for dealing with the real world. Tell your daughter she's going to be a GREAT babysitter and able to deal with any cantankerous boss in the world after all this. She is old enough to understand a little more about what is going on and why, and while giving her too much adult responsibility will worry her or make her rebel, you can encourage her to act like an "adult" in dealing with her brother, loving him and not retaliating, and reward any "adult" behavior you see by letting her do "adult" things, like stay up a little later watching TV.

Catherine OurVillageIs said...

I make the boys tell each other one thing that they appreciated about each other every day. Every. Single. Day. Every night , before our bedtime prayers, they say "I love you, _____, goodnight." Again, it is every-single-night.

They are of the age where we are discussing love, and what it really is. Especially Italy he sacrificial element. I lavishly praise anything that is a true act of love and kindness. If they can learn it here, first they have a better chance of making it work outside the front door.

I hope you can find something that works for you.

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